Randomly Bolded » biglaw http://www.randomlybolded.com/blog Spontaneous emphases on memes du jour Thu, 19 May 2011 06:59:51 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 I need a hit http://www.randomlybolded.com/blog/2009/03/i-need-a-hit/ http://www.randomlybolded.com/blog/2009/03/i-need-a-hit/#comments Sat, 14 Mar 2009 22:01:23 +0000 rb http://www.randomlybolded.com/blog/?p=39 Among the joys of working at BigLaw are the weekly visits to my “drug dealer,” whom I will call Derek. My entire relationship with Derek revolves around one thing—getting me what I need.

Derek and I follow all the protocols of professional narcotics distributors:

  • using established, secure channels of communication;
  • repeating a regimented script where Derek assigns, and I complete, assignments, then later I confirm I have completed them;
  • exhibiting antilinguistic traits characteristic to such distributors, including crass, pink-elephant-in-the-corner smalltalk and task-relevant overlexicalization.

Fortunately for BigLaw, Derek deals in batches, not 8-balls; lists, not lines; documents, not drugs.

Unfortunately for my career, I’m a lowlife junkie hooked on the smack. Hit me up again, Derek!

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